please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Ketchup is God's man juice
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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