I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize
