I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
