I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
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