Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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