Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
