You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
