How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
