And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I didn't shave. On purpose
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
