I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
