i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I can't put those talents on a resume
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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