Pants 0. Shit 1.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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