So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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