Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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