you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
