So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
