Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
