you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I stole a fireplace last night.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
