We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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