he wants to bone in the snuggie
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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