She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
