she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
sex in a hospital.. check
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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