My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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