were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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