And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
