mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
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I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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