i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
