Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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