I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
