I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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