new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
