Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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