Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Randomize
