I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
