hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window