he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history