You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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