this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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