Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.

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(425): View more from Washington

i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....

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(516): View more from New York

id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though

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(701): View more from North Dakota

He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed

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(623): View more from Arizona

and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.

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(420): View more from

I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?

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