Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
