Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
