After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
