Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
