yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
