My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
