well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
