Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
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I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
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Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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