Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize