we made out on top of his cat.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
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