is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
