Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
