please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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