he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
