So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
