The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize