I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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